A small space to turn intention into action — one deliberate moment at a time.
We care about the people in our lives. We just rarely turn that care into something they can feel.
Between lectures, late shifts, and the slow drift of shared group chats, love becomes something we feel — rarely something we do.
At the beginning of the semester, I saw love as something that largely unfolded on its own. You meet the right people, you spend time together, and connection builds naturally. Effort was present, but it did not feel especially deliberate — more a product of proximity and shared routines than conscious choice.
In hindsight, that view made sense. Many of our closest relationships were formed in structured environments — school, classes, CCAs — where time together was already built in. You saw the same people regularly, often without having to plan for it. In this sense, connection was less something you actively created and more something that emerged through repeated exposure. This aligns with the propinquity effect, which suggests that familiarity developed through repeated contact plays an important role in forming social bonds.
But that began to shift over time.
As life became more complex — especially in university — relationships were no longer sustained by default. Different friend groups, academic pressures, CCAs, family, and romantic relationships began competing for limited time and attention. The people I cared about were no longer automatically part of my daily routines. Staying close started to require something more deliberate.
That was the first real shift: realising that care alone does not sustain relationships — time and attention do.
Through the course, this intuition became clearer. Psychological and sociological perspectives suggest that relationships are not self-sustaining; they are shaped by repeated actions over time. In particular, social exchange theory frames relationships as ongoing exchanges of time, attention, and emotional energy.
Research on relationship maintenance further shows that closeness is preserved through ongoing, often small, acts of connection — such as openness, assurances, and shared tasks — rather than through feeling alone. And yet, even when we know these things matter, there is often a gap between what we know matters in relationships and what we actually do. Most people value their friendships, family, and partners. Yet it is still easy to forget to reach out, check in, or spend time intentionally.
Not because we do not care.
But because nothing consistently prompts us to act on that care.
That gap became the starting point for this project.
Instead of treating love as something that should naturally sustain itself, Love, But On Purpose reframes it as something we can practice — through small, specific actions. Setting a simple intention. Following through. Turning something abstract into something visible.
In a small way, it also draws on implementation intentions, which suggest that specifying when and how one will act ("I will call on Thursday evening") increases the likelihood of follow-through.
This project reflects a shift in how I now understand love: not just something we feel, but something we repeatedly choose to do.
Think of one relationship that deserves a little more of you this week.
Every kind of love deserves attention.
An intention with a when and a how many is far more likely to happen.
Not a notification. Just a quiet reminder of what you already said matters.
Leave your email and we'll take care of the rest. No newsletters, no spam — just the nudge you asked for.
Your intention is set and a confirmation is on its way to your inbox. We'll check in with you when the moment gets close — until then, it's enough that you decided this matters.
Practices like this travel best in pairs. Here's a ready-made message — copy it and send it however feels natural. Text, WhatsApp, email, whatever.
Relationships grow through small, repeated shared experiences — not grand gestures. The little moments are what actually build closeness over time.
People consistently underestimate how much others appreciate being reached out to. That "they're probably too busy" feeling? It's usually wrong.
Tiny, specific actions are far easier to follow through on than big, vague intentions. "I'll be a better friend" doesn't work. "I'll text Maya on Thursday" does.